alex

At Panera having coffee

After 4 years, I just spent a week with my brother Alejandro. He departed last night and is back home in Guatemala, but to me, he stayed a little longer…

I’ve lived this process many times in my life, I detach from my family for long periods of time because we live in different countries, but this time I felt the urge to stay with this feeling a little longer and don’t be so quick to turn the page to go back to my real world.

Why? Here goes…

He told me a story the other day. It came as a surprise because you don’t usually get the spiritual talk form this guy (you don’t get it from me either, btw…). He owns a company with offices in Guatemala and El Salvador and about a month ago made the decision to close the one in El Salvador for different circumstances, which are not the point of the story.

He drove there to take care of the legal matters and as he prepared for his 2-hour drive back home by himself, he decided to do an exercise. He says he likes dealing with his feelings, really digging deep to observe them and experience them. If it’s sadness so be it, feel sad for a little while. You can always say “I’m ok, no big deal” and pump some momentary motivation and move on with a nice macho attitude.

Two hours later he arrives home to his family, knowing exactly how he feels. His feeling was one of relief, he didn’t have to travel all the time anymore, or deal with things and people he didn’t want to deal with. He can now focus on his life’s dream, which by the way has been a reality for the last 5 years, his company in Guatemala.

He moved on knowing exactly how he feels about it.

He left last night, we said bye with jokes and hugs, but this morning I felt his presence here, I didn’t want to let him go yet. I remembered his story…

I wasn’t ready to turn the page yet and jump into my daily action. I felt the need to reflect, to listen to his voice in my head, to observe how I feel. This time I refuse to just let it go. This time I wanted to drink the last drop left in the glass.

Feelings are stored in your heart, if you choose not to deal with them they turn into baggage that you carry around, and it can get pretty heavy.

I hope I didn’t get too soft. I can go on to say that there was energy of different tones of yellows and pinks dancing around us, but that’s not me, so after an hour of laughing and crying by myself I’ll just say this…

Bro, I had a sick time, it was off the hook, you are fuckin’ awesome and I love you.