A Valentine’s Day Relationship Healing Challenge: Getting Closure (Part II)


Guest Post by Selina Pagan

LOVE FOR LOVE’S SAKE: Are you open to receiving?

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – A Course in Miracles

One of the greatest barriers we build against love is a withholding of our own self-love, and consequently this is one reason why many relationships fail – we enter into them as a means to an end: we’re afraid to be alone and we’re hoping another person can love us in ways we do not express to ourselves. As a result, we’re setting up our relationships on a shaky foundation of fear and deprivation.

In Katherine Woodward Thomas’s book, “Calling in The One,” she encourages us to love for love’s sake only and we can start by expanding our capacity to love and be loved.

As we move into Valentine’s Week, try 3 of my favorite practices, pulled directly from the book, and feel your heart expanding to attract love like a high-powered magnet!


#1 Heart Yoga

Sit in a comfortable position, either cross-legged or with a straight back and legs outstretched, on either a pillow or the floor. Stretch your arms out in front of you, palms touching, elbows straight, with your arms parallel to the floor. Inhale through your nose while opening your arms widely to the sides, bringing your shoulder blades as close together as possible. Place your awareness in your heart and imagine your heart opening as you fill your lungs with air, breathing deeply. Feel your arms outstretched like giant wings, keeping them parallel to the ground. When you’ve stretched your arms as far back as they can go, begin exhaling strongly through your nose, bringing your arms slowly back to the original position. Again, press your palms together, keeping your arms parallel to the ground the entire time. With each expansion, silently say to yourself:

“I open myself fully to give and receive love.”

Repeat this movement at a moderate pace 26 times (relaxing between expansions, if needed), with eyes closed and slightly rolled up and focused just above and between the eyebrows (your “third eye” point).

#2 List Your Needs

In a journal or on a blank sheet of paper, write a list of five things or more that you need in a relationship in order to feel fulfilled. Allow yourself to be authentic. Here are some examples:

I need to feel valued and respected.
I need to be told that I am beautiful.
I need to be inspired.

Now, close your eyes and, one statement at a time, grant yourself each item on your list by speaking it to yourself silently or out loud. Like this:

I need to feel valued and respected. becomes I value and respect myself.
I need to be told that I am beautiful. becomes I acknowledge how beautiful I am.
I need to be inspired. becomes I inspire myself constantly.

Now, write out your statements of affirmation ten or more times each. As you write, feel it to be so in your heart.

#3 Love Letter to Me

Carve out some quiet time so you can privately craft a letter to yourself, written to you from your ideal lover. Imagine what he might say to you as he whispers softly in your ear in a moment of great tenderness and love. What is it that your heart has longed to hear your lover say to you? For example:

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known. I will always love you and I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Your heart is safe with me – I will dedicate myself to loving you and caring for you all the days of my life.”

When you are finished, reread your letter and again allow yourself to imagine these words being spoken to you with great kindness and care. Now, place your hand upon your heart. Silently or aloud, lovingly say your name to yourself. Slowly and with great meaning, read your letter to yourself, from yourself. Allow your heart to open and receive the sweet sentiments that you have written.

Use these practices to focus your awareness in your heart during this Week of Love, and consider the Law of Attraction – like attracts like – as you begin to align yourself, from the inside out, with the love you’ve been saying you want. As you mindfully cultivate your heart’s desires, building your capacity to give and receive love, pay attention to what, or who, you attract into your life.

This is powerful work and we’re just scratching the surface here! I invite you to pick up a copy of “Calling In The One” and continue your journey of attracting the Love of Your Life. You can also visit Katherine’s website for more information about the author and to access some fun freebies, like guided meditations and teleclasses: callingintheone.com.

Happy Valentine’s Day, all you lovers! Be good to YOU!

Image credit: Katie Swayze

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